I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
