she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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