When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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