you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
