One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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