i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
