But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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