my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
