Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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