woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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