For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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