what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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