can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
