Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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