Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
