I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
what the fuck happened to the tacos
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
