I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Randomize
