Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
