Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize