Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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