she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
