are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
