So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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