the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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