is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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