How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize