This is the prime rib incident all over again
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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