I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
