I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize