i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
