i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
