Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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