we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
