Just cropdusted the office
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I supernannyed him into submission
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
