I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
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