i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
