How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I think a kid would responsible me up
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
