In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
