when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
