I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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