Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
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The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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