Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize