It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize