hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
