Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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