When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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