Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
