You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
