My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
