dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
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