You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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