I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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