Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
