Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
