Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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