Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
