You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
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Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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