i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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