If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
