I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
