My sheets look like a crime scene.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
