Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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