The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
so let's talk penis.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Randomize
