We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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