Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
