I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
