You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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