She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize