How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
