You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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