New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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