Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Don't make out with my wife yet
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
