The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I just forgot I was standing up.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
